Pathan SMS 20

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1





Ek Pathan K Sar Me Chot Lag Gae...

Nurse: Is me 7 Tankey Lagen gay

Pathan: Kitna Paisa lay ga

Nurse: 3000

Pathan: Baji sirf Tanka Lagwana Hai Karhai Nahi Karwani.

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

2






Pathan ne MBA mai 1st Position li

Teacher ne pocha:ab agay kya karne ka irada hy?

Pathan:.....BACHPAN SE SHOK THA K Chowkidari KARON...!

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

3






JUDGE: Tumhra jurm sabit hogya hai...

kal tumhen phaansi pe latkaya jaye ga

PATHAN: Wo to thek ha,

lekin utara kab jaye ga hum ne sham ko Raksha bhi chlana hota hai.

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

4






TEACHER: 3 or 3 kitney huwey?

PATHAN: 6 huwe

TEACHER: shabash ye lo 6 toffiyan

PATHAN: hum ko pehley pata hota to 33 batata:-)

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

5






Pathan bV k 7 Ja Rha Tha...

1 Larky Ne Aankh Mari

Pathan: Tumko Sharam Nahi Aati Muje Aankh Marte Ho?

Boy: Aapko Nahi Aapki BV Ko Mari He

Pathan: Sory Yar Main Ny Tumhe Ghalat Smjha!

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

6






Pathan office se wapis arha tha,

Rastay me 1 larka mila.

Usne Pathan ko kaha.

Tumhari b.v kisi shaadi me daance kar rahi hai,

Pathan ghar gaya or darwaaze pe danda le kar khara ho gya.

8 bajay, 9 bje,10 or phir 11 se 12 baJe. B.v nahi i.

1 bajay Pathan ko yaad aaya k,Oh khana kharab humara to shaadi hi nahi huwa@

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

7






1 Pathan apne kuty k 7 film Sholay dekhne gaya,

Hero ne kaha "bsantiin kuton k samny mat nachna"

Pathan khara ho kar bola "kuty ka ticket lia hai tera to baap b nache ga.

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

8






Judge Pathan say: "Tum nay din dihaaray chori q ki...?"

Pathan: " Q k Raat ko hum chokidaari karta hai.

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

9






1 Pathan humesha Rait ki bori cycle k peeche rakh kar border cross karta tha.

Boht dafa check karne par bhi border force ko kbhi kuch na milla.

Aakhir 1 din khan se pocha gaya,

'Khan tum kis cheez ka smuggling karte ho?'

Khan: Cycles ka:-

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

10






1 Pthan ki Bv Bimar Thi Light Nahi Thi, Mombati Jal Rahi Thi

Pathan Main Doctor Ko Lene Ja Raha Hoon

Agar Tumhe Lage K Tum Nahi Bacho Gi To Yaad Se Mombati Bujha Dena:

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

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Pathan SMS 18

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1





Pathan apni girl friend se,Tumhari qualification kya hai?

Girl friend: kush hote howe B.A

Pathan,Jahil ka bachi 2 lafz parrha wo b ultta.

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

2






Pathan to AirHostess: "Tumara shakal humara biwi se boht milta ae"

Airhostess ne thapar mara.. Pathan bola: "WALLAH! Aadat bhi kitna milta hay.. :-

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

3






Smajhne ki koshish karo mujhe tang mat karo,

Muje akela chordo Kal raat tumari waja se mjy nend nahe ae,

Mat khelo meri zndgi k 7 Ok.

Pathan machar se keh raha Tha.

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

4






Q: What does "pipe pipe por por pipe por pipe por" mean?

.

.

.

.

Ans: A pathan giving you his phone number"55 44 54 54"

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

5






"PATHAN'TEACHR: Qayamat k din zamen phat jay gi,
Asman K tukre ho jaey gy,Sab fana ho jayen gay.

PATHAN STUDENT: To us din universty me chuti hogi?

"PATHAN'TEACHR: Pata nahi, Notice lagay ga to pta chlay ga:-

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

6






Pathan (nurse se) kya doctor sahab ne abhi tak neend ki goliyan nahi bheji

Nurse: nahi

Pathan: jaldi mangwao,mujhe neend a rahi hy

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

7






Dost: soch raha hoon k America ghoom Aaoon,kitna paisa Lagey ga?

Pathan: kuch b nahi.

Dost:wo kaisey?

Pathan: sochney k paise nahi Lagtey

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

8






Friend: Tum ko sharam nai ati tumhara baap tailor hai or tmhari shirt phati hai?

Pathan: Sharam to tum ko nai ati tumhara baap dentist hai...

or tumhara bhai bina dant k paida hua.

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

9






Pathan: yar aaj mujhe ajeeb msg aya or mera mobile off ho gaya

2nd Pathan:kiya likha tha?

1st pathan:battery low

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

10






Mujhe tum se aik zarori bat karni hai

is baat ka zikr kisi se nahi karna

mujhe 5000 rupees ki zarorat hai

maine kabhi tum se kuch nahi manga

mujhe pata hai k tum Na nahi karogi

Or mujhe pata hai k tumhre pass paise hain

Ye sab....Ek pathan ATM machine se keh raha tha:-

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

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Pathan SMS 19

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1





"Pathan ne Ghar ka Darwaza ukhara or kandhe pe rakh k Bazar gaya !

1 Admi ne poucha: Khan, Kia Darwaza Bechna hy ?

Pathan: Nahi yara, Tala Khulwana hai.

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

2






Pathan: BLOOD K baray mein book parh raha tha,,,

Wife:Ye Q parh rahay ho?

Pathan:Mujhe Doctor nay kaha hay k BLOOD TEST ho ga

Is liay Test ki tyari kar raha hoon.:-)

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

3






Pathan: hamein Eid k liye kapray bnane hain hamare pas paise nahi hain.

Dost:Tum aisa karo bank se loan le lo.

Pathan: Yara hum loan le to le magar hamen cotton zyada pasand hai.

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

4






Dost Pathan Se: Tum To Aaj Doctor k Pas jane Walay thay,Q Nhi gaye

Pathan:Yar Hum kal jaye ga,Aaj Hamara Tabiat Kharab hai:-

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

5






Pathan k ghar beta hoa!

Pathan ny usy goud mein uthaya to us ny sussu kar dia.

Pathan nurse sy bola: Baaji dosra day do ye leek ha....

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

6






Wedding night dulhan pathan se:

Khan sahab aaj mujhe itna khush karo k mein sari zindgi yaad rakhon

Pathan sari raat usay GUD GUDI karta raha:-

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

7






Friend: I've change my mind......

Pathan: Shukar hai bhai. Shayad ye wala sahi kaam kare.

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

8






1 Pathan Bhikhari Ki Lottry lagi to Us ne Masjid banwai

2nd- Tu ney Masjid Q banwai??

Pathan Bhikhari- is k Saamney ab hum Akaila hi Bheek manga kray ga:-

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

9






1 PATHAN library me 2-3 ghante 1 book parhne k bad bola...

So boring, so many characters But no story.

Then librarian said O Akhrot! This is a TELEPHONE directory.

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

10






Kon Bane Ga Caror pati?

Pathan:Main

Q: What's Ur Father Name?

Pathan: Plz Option?

A.Dilawer B.Changez C.Feroz D.Sultan

Pathan: Life Line 50/50 A.Dilawer C.Feroz

Pathan: Audience Vote 75% Dilawer, 25% Feroz

Pathan: My Last Life Line Phone

Friend: Kis Ko Call Karen gay?

Pathan: Apne baap dilawar ko.

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

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Pathan SMS 16

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1





Pathan raat ko cycle ly k qabristan main ghus gaya.

Phir bahar nikla aur paseena ponchhty huwy bola:

"Yaara, ye konsa road tha? Itne speed breaker"

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

2






Eik pathan apne rakshay k pas khara tha,

eik admi ne aa kar poocha: tariq road jaoge?

Pathan:

chala to jaun par mere rakshay k pas kon khara hoga:-(

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

3






Bhikaari Pathan se:

Mujhe khaanay kokuchh mil sakta hai?

Pathan:

Kal ka saalan kha Lo gay?

Bhikhaari:

Ji haan bilkul

Pathan:

Achha to phir kal aana... jana".

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

4






PATHAN APNI MAA SE,,,

Kya aap ne mujhe paida hone se pehle dekha tha..?

Maa:- Nahi to..

PATHAN:- To phir paida hone k baad aap ne mujhe pehchana kesey?

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

5






Boss:

Ek acha sa SHESHA le k aao jisme mujhe mera face dikhayi de,

Pathan:

Boss nahi mila main sab dukan me gaya par sab me mera hi face dikh raha tha.

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

6






BOSS: 15din ki chutti q chahiye?

Pathan:Mera cousin ka shadi hai.

Boss:Cousin ki shadi hai to tum ko chutti q?

Pathan:Couzin ka shadi hum se ho raha hai.

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

7






1 Bus me Pathan ka paaun Larki k paaun per aa gya.

Pathan: Sorry

Larki: Get lost, andhay ho kya?

Phir 1 handsome larkay ka paaun larki k paaun per aa jata hai...

Larka: Sorry!

Larki: (with smile) It's ok, No problem

Pathan Jal k bola: hamara SORRY ka spelling ghalat tha kya?

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

8






B.V pathan sy:Khan hum ko hamara salgirah mein Chain gift karna.

Pathan:Wai qurban!Lalay di jaan!Zaroor dega. Batao CYCLE Wala DE Ya KUTTAY Wala...???

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

9






Pathan Amrood Bech raha tha.

Ek Admi aya or Bola:"Khan..! Amrood me agr Keera hua to..?

"Pathan:"To Hum Keeray ka alag Paisa Lega."

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

10






Pthan English sekny obama k pas gia

3 month bad waps aya to pthn ko obama ka phone aya

pthn:hi obama hw r u?

Obama:yara tum english ch0ro naswaar bhej0

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

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Pathan SMS 17

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1





Pathan's wife:

Aaj hum ne special khana banaya hai

jisko khaa k aap khushi say pagal ho jao gay.

Pathan:

aisa kiya pakaya hai?

Wife:

"NASWAAR GOSHT"

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

2






''Intelligent Pathan''

All scientists fail 2 answer this but Pathan rocks !

Q:Which liquid thing turns solid on heating?

Ans:BESAN k PAKORAY.

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

3






Pathan: Mujhe Raat Bhar Neend Nahi Aai.

Sardar: Q?

Pathan:

Kyo K Kal Raat Bhar Neend Mein Yahi Sapna Dekhta Raha...

K Main Jaag Raha Hun.

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

4






Ek Din...Ek pathan ki apne Baap se larrai ho gaei...

Usne baap ki photo Qabristan me ek Darakht par laga di...

Or Uske neeche likh diya,

"CominG SooN"

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

5






Pathan Biology Ka Practical Attend Krty Huye...

Examinr Ne 1 Bird Ki Taang Dikhaai,Or pathan Se Us Bird Ka Naam Poocha..?

Pathan: i Don't Know..

Examiner : You Are Fail, Kya Naam Hai Tumhara?

Pathan: Humara Taang Dekho Or Naam Bataao! Baat krta hai.@

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

6






1 pathan maleria se kaamp rha tha...

Doctor aya or pucha kya howa?

Pathan k bete ne kaha:

Bimari ka pata nai per Aba subha se 'VIBRATION' par hai.

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

7






Teacher: Is Dor Me Sab Se Bara Bewakuf Insan Kon Hota Hai?

Pathan: Wakeel

Teacher: Wo Kese ?

Pathan: Wo pagal ka Bacha, Itni Garmi Me Coat Pehanta Hy...!

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

8






Pathan Dukaan Wale Se: or janab kese ho?

Dukaan Wala: bas apki Dua chahiye

Pathan: wo hum tum ko nhi dega

Dukaan Wala: magar kion?

Pathan: kion k wo abi "8" saal ki hy :*

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

9






Pathan: Wo Kon Sa Juice Hai Jo Hum Pee Nahi Sakte?

2nd pathan "D JUICE"one place it'z fun to b� young....

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

10






Friend: Khan sahab mobile neya lia he?

Pathan: Apny kazan ka uthaya he.

FRIEND: Q?

Pathan: Yara woh jab b milta tha kehta tha"TUM MERA FONE Q NAI UTHATE?"

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

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Pathan SMS 15

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1





Qatil:

Koshish Karna Umer Qaid Ho, Phaansi Na Ho.



Pathan Lawyer:

Don't Worry.



After Court,



Qatil:

Kiya Hua?



Pathan:

Bohat Mushkil Se Umer Qaid Hui,

Adalat Tou Riha Karne Lagi Thi:-

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

2






1 Pathan Ne New Car Li

Aur Us K Door pe Likhwa Diya

.

.

.

.

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"Darwaza Bahir Ki Taraf kholen"

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

3






Shaadi K Moqa Per Pathan Apni Biwi K Liye

Gulaab Ka Phool Le Kar Aaya.



Biwi: Mujhe Ye Nahi Chahiye,

Koi Soney Ki Cheez Do.



Pathan: Ye Lo Takiya,

Aur So Jao

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

4






Ek Pathan Ka Sar Phat Gaya,

Doctor Ne Pucha:

Khan Ye Kese Huwa?



Pathan: Main Chapal Se Keel Thok Raha Tha,

Ek Banda Bola...

"Khan Khopri Istamaal Karo"

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

5






**********

*-Pathan-*

**********

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.



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Bus Naam Hi Kaafi Hai!

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

6






1 Gadhay Ne Pathan Ko Laat Mara Aur Bhaag Gaya,

Pathan Us K Peechay Bhaaga...

Rastey Mein Usey Zebra Mila,

Pathan Zebra Ko Laat Maar K Bola;

Sala Sweater Pehn K Ullu Banata Hai.

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

7






Pathan Shadi K Aglay Din BV Ko Maar Raha Tha...

Logon Ne Pucha Kion Maar Rahay Ho?

::

Pathan: Is Ney Meri Chaye Mein Tawez Milaya Hai.

::

BV Rotay Huey Wo Tawez Nahi Tea Bag Tha.

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

8






Sardar:

Agar 1 Hathi Sui K...

Sorakh Mein Se Guzernay Ki Koshish Kar Raha Ho,

Tou Usey Roknay K Liye Kiya Karna Chahiye?



Pathan:

Us Ki Dum Pe Gira Laga Do,

Phas Jaega Ga.

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

9






3 pathanon ko phansi ki saza di gai.

1 ko phansi lgai...

to rssa dhela hony ki wja sy wo nechy pani ma ja gra or bach gia.

Dosry ko phansi di gai to wo bhi pani may ja gra aur bch gya.

Jb 3sre ki bari ai!

to wo jaldi sy bola:

"Khocha ye rassa thek karlo hum ko terna nai ata";-)

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

10






Faqeer Pathan Se:

5 Rupay Ka Sawal Hy Baba?

Pathan:

Baba Jaldi Se Sawal Batao

Mujhe 5 Rupay Ki Boht Sakht Zarurat Hy Mene Naswar Leni Hy...

color="#6a98a5">Submitted By Muneer

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Pathan SMS Page 14

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Jin Pathan se:

Kiya hukum hai mere aaqa?



Pathan:

Koi acha sa shair sunao



Jin:

Hukum ker bakwaas nahi

Main jin hoon Faraz nahi



Pathan:

Wah Wah Wah

Submitted By Muneer

2






Race ho rahi thi

Us mein Pathan bhi tha...



Ailaan hua

1-2-3 Start



Sab Bhaagey Pathan nahi bhaagi



Coach:

Khan tum kyun nahi Bhaagey?



Pathan:

Humara Number 4 hai

Submitted By Muneer

3






Pathan Ko Rota Dekh Kar Friend Ne Pocha Kya Hua?



Pathan: Bohut Bara Dhoka,

Main Ne 2 Ton Ka A.C Kharida,

Ghar Aakar Tola Tou Sirf 50 Kilo Ka Nikla:-

Submitted By Muneer

4






Pathan aur Sardar Plane Mein Saath Bethay Thay...



Air Hostess: Sir Kisi Chez Ki Zarurat To Nahi?



Sardar: Ek Lassi Da Glass Le Aao Sohnio.



Pathan: Behn G! Ek Tandoor Ka Roti, Ek Chenak Sulemani Chaaye

Ek Paao Akhrot, Kishmish Badaam aur Ek Puri Naswaar.



Air Hostess: Ye Jahaz Hai, Afghanistan Nahi.

Submitted By Muneer

5






Pathan:

Yara Ye "Sent Message" Kya Hota Hay?



2nd Pathan:

Qasam Se Tum To Bilkul Jaahil Ka Bacha hay...

"Sent message" Ka Matlab Khushboo Wala Message Hay.

Submitted By Muneer

6






Motorway Police:

Khan Ap 180 Ki Speed Se Kyun Ja Rahay Ho?



Pathan:

Tum Logon Ne Hi Tou Side Wale Board Pe Likha Hai

"Yaad Rakhain Ghar Pe Koi Aap Ka Intizaar Kar Raha Hai"

Submitted By Muneer

7






Teacher:

Tumhare Abbu Ka Kya Naam Hai?



Pathan:

Google Khan



Teacher:

Ye Kesa Naam hai?



Pathan:

Hum Jahan Bhi Hota Hai,

Woh Hum Ko Dhoon Hi Leta Hai

Submitted By Muneer

8






Teacher Pathan se:

Es Ki English Banao...

"Kaam Nahi Hota,

Jab Hota Hai Tou Hota Hi Chala Jata Hai"



Pathan:

"Work is Not Done,

When Done Then dun dana dun dun"

Submitted By Muneer

9






1 Pathan Ne Radio Liya...

Jab Ghar Ja Kar Radio Sun Tou Awaz Aai

'Ye Radio Pakistan hai'



Pathan Radio Le Kar Bhagta Hua

Dukandar K Paas Aaya Or Bola...

Tum Ne Kaha Tha Ye Radio Japani hai

Magar Ye Khud Bol Raha Tha...

"Ye Radio Pakistan Hai"

Submitted By Muneer

10






Dost:

Yaar Tum Subha Se Mitti Khod Rahay Ho

Kya Baat Hai?



Pathan:

Yaara Abba Kehta Hai..

Main Ne Un Ka Naam Mitti Mein Mila Diya,

Wohi Dhoond Raha Hoon:-

Submitted By Muneer

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Pathan SMS Page 13

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Ek pathan dost se: Aisa kon sa station hay jahan train nahi rukti?



Dost: Aisa koi station nahi hay...



Pathan: Hai na..



Dost: Chal bata



Pathan: Radion Station

Submitted By Muneer

2






4 Pathan ne mil k petrol pump khola...

1 Bhi customer nahi kion?



Petrol pump was on first floor.



Phir chaaron ne ussi floor pe resturant khola...

1 Bhi customer nahi kion?



Petrol pump ka board nahi hataya.



Phir chaaron ne ek taxo li...

1 Bhi sawari nahi mili kion?



2 Pathan aagay oro 2 pathan peechay baith k sawari dhoond rahay thay.



Taxi kharab ho gayi...

Chaaron ne khoob dhaka lagaya..

Magar taxi wahin ki wahin kion?



2 aagay se or 2 peechay se dhaka de rahay thay.



Wah Pathan

Submitted By Muneer

3






Pathan galti se samundar mein gir gaya.....



Doobtey doobtey uskey haath mein machli aai....



Pathan ne pakarr kar bahar phenka aur bola.....



Ja tu toh apni jaan bacha ley.:.:.:.:

Submitted By Muneer

4






1 Pathan SCIENTIST ne makhi k par kaat diye or kaha



"us ja"



Wo nahi uri



Pathan; Tajubay se sabit hua agar...

makhi k dono par kaat diye jayen to wo sun nahi sakti:-

Submitted By Muneer

5






Pathan England k ek club mein chala gya...



Wahan jaa k khoob nacha.



Dance karne k baad bola,



.

.

.



o yara koi hum ko ye to btaye k ye SHADI kia ka hay?

Submitted By Muneer

6






Aik Pathan thapti dhoop me pedal ja raha tha,,,



Ek byk wale ne kaha khan saab lift dy don?



Pathan bola, hum ko lift ka kya zarorat hy ...

hamara ghar to ground floor par hy:-

Submitted By Muneer

7






Pathan ko shairi ka shoq hua...



Baap ko "Father Day" k card per shair likha...



Phool to phool hai,

gulab jesa koi nahi



Mere baap to boht hain,

per aap jesa koi nahi

Submitted By Muneer

8






Pathan English k Paper mein Fail ho gaya...



Translation ki wajah se:



1. Main aik Aam admi hoon.

(I am a Mango man)



2.Mujh English Aati hai.

(English comes to me)



3. Sarak par goliyan chal rahi hain.

(Tablets are Walking on the road)

Submitted By Muneer

9






Ek Pathan ka haath machine me aa kar kat gaya...

Us k dost afsos karne k liye aaye, kehny lagy...

shukar karo k tumhara seedha haath nahi kata,

warna tum khana kese khatey, haath kis se milatey?



Pathan: ye tum hamare dimagh ki daad do,

aya tou hamar seedha haath hi tha...

humne keench kar foran ulta haath de diya:-

Submitted By Muneer

10






1 Helicopter Qabristan mein gir geya...



Govt ne 1 Pathan ko enquiry k liye bheja,



Us ne report di...



"Ab tak 500 Laashen mil gai hain

Aur baqi k liye khudai jaari hai"

Submitted By Muneer

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